I read a blog by someone today that was explaining how much trauma they have dealt with in their lives and how they were unsure if they could deal with anymore. They wanted to know why them? Why it seemed never ending and basically how unfair it was. I really felt for this person, I understand where they are coming from, I posted a comment though and started it with the phrase above... trauma can break you or make you.
It is up to us! Plain and simple!! We have the choice in how we accept the trauma, nobody wants to see this because they feel it is unfair. And truthfully it isn't fair but it is a part of life. When people tell me how unfair life is, I say, life is beautiful, things happen that are unfair but life is amazing. We all have trauma in our lives to some degree... if anyone and I mean anyone tells you that they don't have anything like that, let's say they are in denial.
Look at what Andrey told me yesterday, asking me what he ever did to me? Ahhh, he raped me... he tore me down on a regular basis.... I could have let what he did destroy me but I will never give him or anyone that power over me. If I were to get stuck in my stories I would never grow beyond them, I would be sitting back crying, sad, depressed. I don't want to be her, I want to be improved, better and working towards what I really want in my life. I am not saying I am all wonderful and perfect, hahaha... no! What I am saying is I overcame my past, I am not my past traumas, I am whoever I want to be.
I want someone in my life and no they are not perfect; I really think there are people that are brought into our lives to help us over the traumas but we have to be alert and ready for them. I have been working on myself for the past couple of years but I really got to the next level from David being brought into my life.... I think I'm there for him too... he has issues he has to deal with as well.
David makes me smile, makes me laugh and makes me think, those are such wonderful qualities in a person, I hope everyone has someone that makes them smile, laugh and think... I was finally able to put my trauma behind me and not let it own me. David and I talked tonight and basically we laughed non stop, it was so fun... He always helps me put things in perspective, by the time we actually talk it is long and I feel so great after talking with him each time.
Also today Valentina was baptized and she had an awesome day, she had the best people giving her talks and prayers. She said she was so excited and I hugged her and told her I could see that and that I was really happy for her.
"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield