Saturday, December 1, 2012

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Each day that goes by draws me closer and closer to a decision I thought I would never make.  I keep hoping against hope that something will turn it around.  It's one of the biggest decisions I have ever made and will change my life in ways I am hoping I can handle.

I need to make some changes,  or I will be in the same place I am in right now... who wants that?  I don't!  It's just that I have always been the biggest wuss about making decisions, I am always the one that never lets go.  Something catastrophic has to happen for me to get to the point where I can finally move ahead.  For some reason that I have not figured out about myself yet, I never control my own destiny... I allow other people and influences to direct my path.

I am realizing I do that because I do not trust my own instincts.  So when I ultimately fail, it is then that I can say, well it wasn't my choice.  That was because of a person or a circumstance, not because of me.  That way I don't have to take on the truth... the truth that I always had the choice.  I just never made it... I never made a choice in anything in my life.

I am going to talk to my David about it, get his opinion, I really respect what he has to say.  He speaks the truth to me and he does it all without judging me.  I know that is a very difficult thing to do, we are human after all.  I don't know how he is with other people in his life but I am pretty sure he is that way with everyone. 

I don't think I can make my choice final today, I am going to have to wait until I heal from my leg issue first.  I need to be focused if I am ever to come through this process successfully.  I also know it will be a very long process.

"Everything you want, also wants you" ~ Jack Canfield


7 comments:

  1. I totally hear you on thisone. I've also been pushed to extremes, so to make decisions. And yes, I always had a choice. I look back and laugh at all my follies!!! It sounds like you're really looking clearly at your life and ready to jump. And when you jump, you'll be amazed at the wings that carry you to who you are.
    Many blessings to your decisions!!!

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  2. Thank you Suzanne, I am really hoping that I will find my wings... I want to believe in myself as much as other people seem to believe in me:)

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  3. Good luck Launna in making the choices you need to make. One thing I have to remind myself is that avoiding making a choice or a decision still ends up being a choice of some sort that I have to live with.

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  4. You are so right Daisy, even avoiding a decision is making a decision... I think this one time in my life, I want to be in control of this decision, even if it'll be one of the most difficult ones I will ever make.

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  5. whatever it is, hope you'll get through unharm
    X)

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  6. Loved the last quote!! Tonight I am floating among your beautiful and inspiring posts and loving it! :)

    Hugs and lotsa love
    Charu
    http://www.myglossyaffair.com/

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